please indulge me a rant, inspired by an amazing conversation that i had with my BFF hannah jane and a recent article posted by vice

i take issue with the new trend of “wellness blogging” that i’ve increasingly encountered in the last few years – a specific type of media, written by mostly young white women, who post perfect pictures on instagram, humble brag about their “clean eating”, and effortlessly talk about “having it all”. for me, it’s inauthentic and damaging due to how harshly these types of stereotypical blogs judge lifestyles that they deem less than their own.

it all seems a bit like a status symbol, which irks me. many of these bloggers aren’t out advocating for those living in food deserts to have access to all these healthy fruits and vegetables that they post VSCO-filtered photos of on instagram. instead, to me, it seems that many of them are more preoccupied by the newest 9-dollar-per-glass juice bar or new spin class that’s opened in the most recently gentrified neighborhood – which they talk about at length on their blogs as proof that, if you’re slim enough, you can “have it all”.

the whole idea of having it all that is perpetuated in these blogs is so fake i can’t even handle it. most days i’m going good if i remember to wash my undergarments and convince myself to not stop for ice-cream for the third time today because it’s sunny and it feels good to walk down the sidewalk holding a delightful cone of sugary goodness. i don’t have my shit together all the time, or even half of the time, but what i do have together is really solid and it brings me joy and i adore it. i don’t want to have it all – i want to have what i’m passionate about and i want to go after it and GET IT. i want to focus on that stuff and do it well and find fulfillment in these things that i love. but that’s not what these new “wellness” blogs advocate for.

you should obviously have your kale salad, but you should also have your brownies (but not more than a bite or two! and only if it’s gluten free!), and you should have your prosecco (but make sure that you do some squats afterwards to make up for it!), and be spontaneous and go out with your girlfriends (but also make sure that you have plenty of me-time!), and make sure that you have long hair (because that’s what the patriarchy wants! but make sure that it’s not long and wild, it needs to be long and tamed, preferably curled), and make sure that you work hard and have a good job and are successful so that you can post all these instagram photos of expensive fitness and food and lifestyle SHIT.

isn’t anybody else exhausted by the whole facade of this!?

i have never sat down one day and thought to myself wow i need a kale salad and a spin class right now! that is not something that happens for me, and i’d hazard a guess that it’s not something that happens on a regular basis for most people either. i sit down and think  how long it would take me to eat this whole hunk of frozen cookie dough and drink this bottle of prosecco (straight from the bottle)? can i do it simultaneously?

working out and eating the things that will fill my body with the nutrients it needs takes hard work and it’s pretty fifty-fifty as to which way i’ll swing with my decisions each day (unless it’s warm outside, then i’m always going for ice cream, fruit, and wine.. ALWAYS).

it makes me want to gag – that this same message to “have it all” is being shoved down our throats by skinny, crop-top-wearing, long-haired women. i’m sick of it.

many of these blogs and bloggers who glorify “clean eating” are just annoying copies of one another, all spewing the same #avotoast #eatclean bullshit. i mean, really, how many photos of green mush on brown bread can these people post? and who the hell is lobbying for all this avocado toast? does someone from the avocado sector have a damn crossbow to the heads of all the “trendy” new bloggers, forcing them to talk about how delicious it is? to make matters worse, many of these people have no nutritional or medical background, and the amount of people who read their posts and take their opinions to heart is deeply worrying to me.

my biggest problem is with the growing intolerance that i see coming from bloggers like these for other lifestyles that they deem “unclean”. the very juxtaposition of clean eating vs. unclean eating is ridiculous to me.

so many of these new “wellness” and “clean eating” blogs advocate, and even insist upon, a diet that is restrictive and inflexible – and market it specifically to young women – all in the name of “self-care.” to them, though, self-care can only be attained one way: their way, with #avotoast, laughing while eating kale salads, buying expensive cold-pressed juice, and being thin.

i don’t want some waif-like blogger with no nutritional or medical background telling me how kale chips are like, totes her new fave thing and i should really be eating more quinoa too while i’m at it. i’m over it, and i hope you are too. what i eat is not how i will be remembered, it’s everything that happens in-between my meals that truly makes an impact on the world.

it’s totally okay to not have your life together, and to not eat healthy all of the time (or even most of the time) – that does not make you any less of a delightful human being. i can eat crap food sometimes (and really really love it) and go on hikes and work with minority populations in budapest and be an all around bomb ass person.

i think there are so many other (more holistic) ways to practice self-care than the restrictive ways that these blogs spew, and i encourage all of you to look beyond the surface-level to truly care for yourself, your body, and your soul in a way that fits your specific needs and lifestyle!

i don’t want to have it all. and i definitely don’t want your damn avocado toast.