REFLECTING ON MY PRE-MOVE FREAK OUT
about three weeks before i made the move to massachusetts, i found myself awake at 6am with a sense of anxiety in my heart. what did i do about it? i blogged of course, about all of the things i was worried could go wrong once i made the move.
since i’m now on the cusp of another, even bigger, move, i felt like looking back and exploring exactly what i was so worried about. i’ve found that some of the things i was right to worry about, and others were just ridiculous. i’m sure that this is how i’ll feel about my current worries after living in budapest for a few months — some were well deserved, and others i could have done without.
anyhow, my worries back in august 2014 were as follows:
what if the people at the new england forestry foundation don’t like me? which is just ridiculous because they’re fantastic and i’m fantastic and everything has been superb with my job at NEFF. those people have become like family to me during my time here.
what if i can’t find any babysitting gigs to supplement my income? it’s no worry — i babysat once for the family of one of my middle school kiddos and it was a blast, but not something that i needed to do in order to have enough money.
what if i spend too much on gas and then don’t have enough for food? it’s actually been the opposite during my time here in that i tend to spend more on food and going out to eat than i do on gas for my car. it hasn’t been a problem though, thankfully, since i only work 10 minutes away. i lucked outttt!
what if i forget to defer my student loans in september and then i’m completely and totally screwed? i didn’t forget! and i ended up finding a better payment plan so that i can still defer during grad school if i need to. HALLELUJAH!
what if something janky happens with my car and my used-to-be-a-mechanic-i-can-fix-anything father isn’t around to help? then i’ll just have to spend the money and get it fixed, like i did a few months ago. i had to charge it to my credit card and i’m still working to pay it off, but at least i have a car that works.
what if i’m not as good at living in community as i thought i was? i’m better at it than i thought i would be. it’s something that takes constant work, but is well worth it in the end.
what if i don’t remember how to fill out tax forms? well, i still didn’t remember how to fill them out, so i did them when i was home for easter with my family — who all helped out greatly haha.
what if i can’t fit everything in my little volvo? IT FIT. now i just have to get it all to fit on the way back! but i’ve done it before, and i’ll do it again.
what if i get there and am super stressed and then all my stress-related medical issues start occurring and i totally freak my roommate out? welp, that has happened. but i’ve learned that it’s all about communicating my needs during times of stress and also getting in the habit of meditating and breathing deeply so i can keep my overall stress levels low. so far it’s gone pretty well!
what if i’m not as prepared for the real world as i thought i was? i don’t think i’ll ever be fully prepared for the real world, but i’m doing a damn good job of making my way through it so far.
basically, it’s all gone pretty well so far. i’ve made a life here in massachusetts and am thriving here, just like i’m sure i will in budapest. i just need to keep reminding myself of that.