WORDS OF WISDOM FROM PROFESSOR BING: PART THREE

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you’re a detective.

a few years ago we isolated a group of students with problems..

oh my! you look stunned! like you were placed under some kind of wild spell..

you haven’t drowned in the deep end yet? good! because we don’t have insurance!

you can reduce it to a NUMBAHHH.

how many of you who are texting in class are having sexual experiences?

I think it’s useful when you’re taking a shower. play with it and think over the concept.

I’ll draw a mustache here and give him some small ears, no Obama ears here!

remember, in this example you’re all wearing Velcro.

you are all now being thrown into the deep end of the pool, and there are sharks. thankfully, I’m here with life rafts.

I’m gonna make this up a bit, but bear with me guys.

okay, so there’s water in a bucket. I take some out. here’s the bucket again, and now there’s a fish inside.

speaking of fish, that’s how they knew he had been watering down his whiskey, because they found a dead minnow in one of his bottles!

now i’m sitting in a very relaxed position for a reason: this is very relaxed stuff.

orrrr we could take a look at a professional football team!

when i say it out loud it does sound kind of complicated..

i’ll just let you think on that for a minute..

now ain’t THAT difficult!?

and these are the people who did far worse than expected.

when i present the data people often think that i have a hidden agenda. it’s like we’re playing euchre and they’ve already lost the hand!

now how do you do that? you sit down with a friend and a bottle of scotch! ..or whatever your favorite beverage is.

doing research is an awful lot like playing computer games ..like becoming a powerful wizard. it’s the same kind of excitement payoff.

we’re looking at categories, like smarter to stupider.

ah what on earth am I doing! I wanted to put this over there!!

these are percentages, Percentages, PERCENTAGES! ..or batting averages if you’d prefer.

in basketball terms, this reminds me of free throws!

girls date the quarterback in HS and then they get to college and marry the nerd! and then they drop out w rich husbands.

once we have the info, there are many ways to play the game. as I’ve said before, it’s like a video game!

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