once you’re in grad school and you start modeling you may get into some hairy stuff.

have any of you seen reefer maddness? maybe we should watch that in class, it’s very informative actually.

about 100 years ago the social purity movement thought that masturbation was a gateway drug to societal problems. it was rough!

it’s called binge drinking, and they only study the negatives. but there are positives too!

the police will always go after joe, cause joe’s an asshole!

i just can’t believe that you guys have never done statistics for baseball!

what’s the use of a baby? it just cries and shits!

heroine, like pills, has some problems.

he hunkered down and tried to hide and then the guy pissed on him!

the bratwurst festival is a great damn party!

do i have the right to discriminate against all assholes in blue shirts? yes! oh wait, i have a blue shirt on..

and now i’m drawing a beachhhh, with some wavesssss, and a sailboattttt.

we want to give you personal contact.

we’re gonna put up a dart board and just throw stuff at PowerPoint!

I’m using my wench at this point..

where’s the line between ‘oh fuck’ and ‘oh yea’!?

in those days the other team would ride the pitcher and really get on him! I had bunny ears, and a real big smile.

the joy that comes from a hunt is real.

some of you will have sexual fantasies, & I accept that, because at least you’ll have a smile on your face.

think about what you enjoy doing ..aside from some weird perverse sexual endeavor.

lets look at similarities in dress between rival gangs. does that create additional likelihood of violence?

there are certain kinds of mathematics you can use if you aren’t able to count.

we’re building a dog park. some people may think that we’re actually building a park for dogs, but haha!

and there could be this little lever that when a dog steps on it then water shoots up! haha it’s genius!

then there were probes… we don’t even want to talk about the damn probes.

we had a mouse in our house! haven’t seen him lately though ..maybe it ate the rat poison. i hope he died a happy death.

that was back when streaking was big. i missed our big streak though because i was in a bar drinking!

some people say it’s hot / others say it’s a lot of rot / in california they smoke pot

it can squib on you.

I generally play the backside but this time I creamed it to first base.

I was keeping score this past year for a little league ya know!

and now I’m throwing the eraser at the cornhole board!

always get close to your target. it’s called moving the goal line. this is the more exciting way to do it!

it’s hard to keep these schedules straight, and it’s not just because I’m old.

a lot of the theories in our world are bullshit, and that’s a problem!