JOURNEYING TO THE DESTINATION
some of you may already know this, but my start of senior year here at heidelberg has been anything but easy. mostly it’s due to my cupboard-under-the-stairs sized dorm room, compounded with lots of stress and anxiety rolling over from the summer and then multiplying as i realize that it really is my last year here.
i feel like everyone goes into senior year assuming that it’s going to be relatively easy, like it’s all one last chance to be wild and make fantastic memories with your friends ..but for a studious and slightly overachieving person like myself, it’s not that simple.
over the summer i was already panicked and overwhelmed with the thought of finding a seminary that fit right, not to mention trying to decide what organization i want to volunteer with during my year (or two) off in between graduation from heidelberg and seminary. then i get back to campus and am smacked straight in the face with all kinds of things that i had completely forgotten about over the course of my three month break: my senior honors project, my international studies capstone, being president of berg ucc, helping to start a new organization on campus (ZETA!), and then still trying to fit in seminary and volunteer stuff.
i guess in my head i had really simplified down what i thought that senior year was going to be like. kind of like how when you’re going on a trip you really only focus on the final destination, and then you start the journey and have to deal with crying babies on long flights, 5 hour layovers in london, and trying to hail a taxi when you don’t even know the native language. you tend to breeze over all of that at the start of it all, instead simplifying the whole journey into that final picture-perfect shot ..something like you standing under the palm trees, the sun setting behind you, as the waves lap lazily at your feet.
well that’s basically what i did with my senior year. over the summer i only really imagined the “picture-perfect” moments, like rowdy chipotle runs with the head of the polysci department, roaming around san fran with friends, wine nights with my girls, and shake shak runs followed by late into the night conversations. and yet here i am, in a closet sized room (it’s maybe 9 ft by 6 ft), with no air conditioning, listening to loud freshman athletes run up and down the hall, cramped in a teeny tiny desk chair drinking kroger chocolate milk and wondering how exactly i got here.it’s my fourth year! i should have known that it would still take a few weeks to get back into the swing of things, and yet i still expected it to happen overnight.
all of this adjusting has reinforced one thing though: i’m surround by the greatest people in the world here at heidelberg. during the last 3 years i’ve met my travel partners, my wine tasting gang, my support system, my distractions from homework, my lets-wander-around-ultra-late-at-night-and-eat-ice-cream friends, my sisters, my confidants, my fellow political science nerds, and my spanish study buddies. i’ve met my best friends. and no matter how annoying and rough it may be getting to that destination, they make the journey there all worth it.